satan5517 发表于 2019-9-11 09:08   全显示 1楼
终于等到作者大大更新了，肉戏的铺垫和正戏大大写的非常棒，看起来很有感觉。唯一一个就是感觉男主得手比较容易，而且从头到现在，上过的女人越来越多了，希望大大好好把握人物关系，有时候回头写写男主与前面的女人的后续故事，这样应该更有故事性，看起来也更真实。不要写成流水账。
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  • 微嗔 金币 +6 认真回复，奖励！ 2019-9-18 20:56
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